Everything here is either adoption or school - when I stop thinking of or working on one I pick up the other. Oh, and emotional eating, did I mention that?
Speaking of eating, there was pattypan squash in my CSA share this week. I know nothing about them so I picked the largest ones, only to get home and read, "choose the small ones that fit in the palm of your hand, those are the ones with flavor." LOL I'll roast them tonight and see what happens!
|Image courtesy of Keattikorn / FreeDigitalPhotos.net|
So yesterday I told my mother about finding my first mother. Me beforehand:
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|Image courtesy of arztsamui / FreeDigitalPhotos.net|
I've been emailing back and forth with my cousin and mother. I should probably name them something for here on the blog, but I'm not sure what yet. After a few emails, I feel all talked out. I'm sure there are a million things I could say, but I don't know how to summarize the last 44 years anymore. Everything I say either sounds boring, or bragging, or complaining. I've tried to do very little of that last one, but there are only so many ways to tell a life story without once and a while saying something negative. I'm melancholy, what can I say?
When I think back on my "story" it isn't all pretty, and I often remember the bad stuff before the good stuff. Vacations? Oooo, fun, right? But I don't remember being at the beach, I remember my parents fighting, and the big light fixture that would have hit me right on the head as it fell off the wall if I hadn't gotten out of bed because of a storm. Florida? Stress about being with my grandmother, getting so sunburned I was pretty sick and everyone just blew it off. I used to (and still do, mostly) pick up and absorb others' stress very easily, so *that's* what I remember about vacations. So when first mom asks about vacations, in an effort to learn more about me, I don't have fun stories to tell like she did in her email, I can only seem to relate facts -- "we went to the Jersey Shore, we went to Florida". Ho hum, right? The only vacation I can look back fondly on is our honeymoon. It was just dh and me, and it was our *honeymoon* so everything seemed fine. Locked out of our hotel room at midnight? Whatever! Fun adventure and story to laugh about later! :)
I've stared reading Hiroshima by John Hersey. It was an unchosen book selection for my 8th graders summer reading. It was only accidentally that I started it on the anniversary of the actual event. This is how I live my life, accidentally, serendipitously.
I couldn't bear to throw out the roses my husband bought me the day I "met" my first mom, even though they are mostly dead. So I cut off their heads ;-) and arranged them with some candles. Not bad for someone with absolutely no decorating sense whatsoever!
Cosmos flowers are in the garden! Let's see if they are as easy as everyone says they are in my impossible spot. The Virgin Mary needs flowers, people! :)
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